Welcome! If you can afford therapy I would say skrimp and save and have a few sessions..............it helps so much...find one that deals with high control groups. Use time on yourself...you are no good to anyone if you dont find yourself first. Your wife has to find her own way......you may love her and she may love you but you cannot "save " her.
I too was born in....my parents had little education and were emotionally primed (mum) to become witnesses. When we realize that few of us had any choice whatsoever in choosing our religion we are often shocked. It takes time to deal with all the turmoil. I wish you the best and think you are very brave. There has happened a great deal in your life and the inner conflict can pull you apart. Anyemotional blackmail to stay in "the truth" should be seen for what it is........blackmail.
Much love and best wishes
Chicken little